savingmymarriageblog.com » communication in marriage

HOW TO KEEP A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH MOTHER-INLAW

penix — Mon, 24 May 2010 16:11:13 +0000

The dream of every woman is to become a mother and also become a grand mother one day, this ideal is so overwhelming but some women have this dread for their mother in-law, either as result of stories they have heard from their fellow women concerning mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws relationship. Women as party to procreation have a great role to play hence they can not be substituted; therefore every family is expected to project the continuity of their linage through marriage via procreation. This brings us to the need for harmony between the mother-in-law and her daughter in-law. It will be wrong to say that all mother in-laws are bad or vise-visa and this does not warrant ill-treatment towards either of them. Most times mother in-laws tries to see that their baby-boy does not get into the wrong hand while trying to get married, so at the time of forming the relationship and the introduction of the would-be wife to the mother in-law, sometimes, some miss-giving may arise which would prompt future antagonism and hatred in the relationship of these progenitors of the family. Studies has shown that in the beat for mother in laws to show-case their love /care towards their baby-boy they become over-bearing and over-protective thereby incurring the wrath of their daughter in-laws who sees her actions as over-stepping her bounds. There are situations where the mother in-law as the senior progenitor who knows all the rules and practices of the family would want to project it and inculcate these ideals into the newly formed family but may run into a ditched/ contrary view of the daughter in-in-law. No matter whatever may be your grievances towards your mother in-law, always have it at the back of your mind that one day you too would become a mother in –law to some other person. As much as you are ready to put up your fight towards sustaining your marriage, also consider the mother in-law factor as one challenge to overcome. Do not fight this battle with the intent to destroy but fight with the intention to win every body over to your side. It is tricky fight which is capable of making you to lose your husband’s love and affection or completely destroy your relationship.
Daughter in-laws should note that as they were total strangers with their husbands at beginning of their relationship, so are they with the mother in-law, therefore it behooves them to win the love and admiration of their mother in-laws, no matter how difficult she might seemed to be.
Being a wife today makes you a potential mother in-law to be, therefore I urge you to treat her with understanding and to enable proper bonding to take place. Naturally, there seemed to be a strong bond between mothers and their sons, therefore your entry should not up-set them but complement their existing relationship, which you have become part of, and willing to sustain.
Let your actions always assure your mother in-law of your sincere intentions and love for her and that her position in the family is well understood and protected. I assure you that you would enjoy your marriage while your mother-law enjoys the love of both of you. Our concern is for you to enjoy your marriage. Cheers.

Prince Vincent

HOW DO YOU SHARE THE SAME BEDROOM WITH YOUR SPOUSE?

penix — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 18:09:08 +0000

Suppose you lived in a two room apartment with your partner, how would you organize your living space? Option (a) Shared bedroom would be a must. Option (b) each person would have his or her own room, but at least one of them would have to be set up so we could spend the night together. When I came across the above question in a recent survey that set out to find out how many couples would prefer separate bedroom, a friend’s recent plight came to mind. Married for years, middle aged husband was suddenly having an affair. The heart-broken bit about this was watching him make the effort to look good most nights and knowing he was making all these effort to look good for another woman.” She said sadly. She lives a big house with several bedrooms with her family, why didn’t she move into one of rooms if her husband’s antics were giving her so much stress? She looked at me as if I’d gone off rocker.” if moved to another room, I might not have any intimacy with him again. I mean, for now, whenever he’s home, he sleeps in our bedroom and that ‘gives me hope that this affairs will soon blow over …” The result of survey revealed that 22 percent of the couples polled chose the option of separate bedrooms. Traditionally, happy couples have spent night after night, year after year, sharing a room and the double in it. But figures in the survey seem to show a shift in the way many couples now think.

The assumption that loving couples always sleep together could soon be a thing of the pass. Experts believe it is a need for personal space that is driving this trend. That although a snoring partner, hectic lifestyle, and children will certainly cause sleeplessness for many couples, the truth is that none of these appear to be the main issue in a couple’s decision to opt for separate rooms. That some people have such a need for their own personal space that sharing a bedroom would be a turn-off. One trend with most palatial homes these days is that most of them have master’s bedrooms.

This a relatively new thing probably to do with people becoming more independent, leading busier, more active lives, “explains.
The fact remains though that in our society, sharing a double bed is a symbol of intimacy, it obviously creates the opportunity to have sexual intimacy and that’s why it has always been a focus. But all those rules are there to be bent. What intimacy means to one person may be different from what it means to another. And it must be emphasized that sleeping together is still important for the majority of couples in spite of the snoring, bed cover hugging, night time reading, and disruption by young children. What is important is that each couple decides which method suits them most without ulterior motives being suspected.
Cheers.

Prince Vincent. www.savingmymarriageblog.com

HOW TO NURTURE MOTHER/DAUGHTER-IN-LAW RELATIONSHIP

penix — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 17:38:18 +0000

HOW OFTEN DO YOU SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGATHER WITH SPOUSE?

penix — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 11:08:51 +0000

Couples need to spend time together in order to strengthen their bond. There is a distinct line between time spent beneficially and time which can actually cause bad feelings and discord. Time spent together as a couple should be beneficial to both. Couples just starting a new relationship may want to spend every spear minute together, which may sound unhealthy to outsiders but both are getting and receiving the intimacy they crave. As long as you and your partner feel this bond growing stronger, the linear time spent together should be viewed as healthy. If you are starting a new relationship and it begins to take shape, it may be a good time to examine the effect it’s having on your own personal life. Are you still meeting your other responsibilities, like work, business, and sleep? Are you maintaining your ties with family and friends? I f you notice a definite negative change in your daily routine; you may be spending too much time with your partner and not leaving enough time for yourself.
One of the hardest things to do in a relationship is manage your time together wisely, but that’s what needs to happen in order to maintain your own emotional and physical well being. Whether it is a formal date or a casual visit, some one has to determine when it’s time to part ways. It may not always be a mutual decision, but a time boundary must be established in the time you spend together, especially in a relationship that has not yet culminated into marriage. In marital relationship, couples should endeavor to spend quality time together through thick and thin. Work-time time schedule that will be beneficial to both, in order to enable you enjoy quality time together. Please work to hard to save your marriage, because some times, it takes one determined partner to make things work. Cheers

Prince Vincent
www.savingmymarriageblog.com

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE BY PLAYING TOGATHER WITH YOUR SPOUSE

penix — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 15:39:45 +0000

Second key ingredient for fulfilling sex life is fostering a spirit of playfulness. We have to liken our selves to the state of little children, to be able to experience playfulness which is the key ingredient to enjoying fulfilled sex life. Consider the nature of children who would play with their mates whole-kindheartedly without any form of deceit or concealment of ill-feeling towards each other.
Couples can not experience the fullness of sexual intimacy unless they come to it in a child like manner, curiosity and playfulness. The grown-up parts of us don’t have much place in the bedroom setting. Disrobing and arousing each other calls for a spirit of adventure, of teasing, risk-taking and a bit of wild-eyed invitation to join us in playful exploration. Therefore couples are encouraged to create a lively and playful atmosphere. Start today by finding a game two can play. You can do some soft-wrestling with your spouse, or catch me if you can games. As you devote more time to play together, you would find your sexual life styles will improves.
Cheers and have a lively married life.

Prince Vincent

playing to gather for fun

10 THINGS TO SAVE YOU FROM INFIFELITY

penix — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 11:14:07 +0000

Marriage is sacred and those who are involved in the union must try at all times; to play by the rule so that peace which is pivot on which marriage and family life rotates can guarantee their enjoyment of their respective unions.
Recently the news media is washed with news of celebrities involved in sexual escapades outside their marital union. The captain of English football team (Mr. John Terry) has been reported to be romancing another player’s estranged spouse which the coach of English team saw as not allowing healthy dressing-room relationship among players of ‘three lion’s as English team is called. This affair has affected his removal as the captain of English team.
The number one golf player “Mr. Tiger Wood “is also fighting the battle of his life to regain his integrity at hands of his wife, sponsors, and fans, after admitting being involved in extra-marital affairs. Several celebrities have been engaged in extra martial affairs in the past, some theirs got exposed while some still have theirs under cover. Nevertheless, let us now look at some of the reasons why some married people would venture into extra-marital affaires despite having such a beautiful spouse.

• Many married people are so pry-occupied with duty-calls that their marital responsibilities have taken a back seat (some claimed they have provided her with all she needed) and they expect their spouse to be happy and show understanding.
• Some women are created with hate for sex, therefore they can afford to endure the absence of it while some can not endure for a day hence if you apply a general rule, and some would definitely get their feel somewhere else. Therefore to save marriage and your spouse from embarrassing moments, you are advised to weigh and understand the sexual needs of each other and see how to compliment him or her. Compromise is always needed to succeed in any marriage union.
• Can you take a look at your dressing recently? Is it the same thing as at time you meet each other? Despite that marriage is also a spiritual matter, but I still believed that what our eyes sees contributes a lot to what we accepts. Please see where you have fallen below his/her expectation and make amends, so that his or her passion for you will continue to wax hot.
• What is your bed-room mannerism? Have you taken a look at what you wear to bed of late? Men and women who are in marriage should endeavor always to impress one another, to curtail any outside impressions.
• You can do your best by helping your spouse to life-out his sexual urge and be happy with each other.

Prince Vincent

HOW NOT TO BE STINGY WITH FINANCES IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

penix — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 13:02:40 +0000

Some couple can see marriage as a pain in the neck because of the way they have conducted it. Can you imagine having to ask your partner every need of your life? Even when you can afford to buy them by yourself, it’s either because you see yourself as a wife who must get every of your needs you’re your husband (why did he marry me if he can not provide for me?). In the running of the home, it is expected that both couples should be sincere in dealing with finances whether it s been earned by one of them or both. Some times, it’s amazing to see some working ladies (Career women) dodge their financial obligation to the family while expecting their male partner to shoulder the whole responsibility, merely because he is a man, while the wife engages in frivolous spending. Family spending should be prioritized on the needs of the family and also should the decision of both couple, some times children are meant to contribute their ideas to some certain issues especially when their interests are involved. Because some are stingy and selfish in their marriages hence this attitude has brought them pain.

This attitude has destroyed several marriages, especially when both partners are educated and has a well paying job.

Take for an example, a friend of mine lost his marriage recently as result several crises in the marriage but their major problem being the way moneywas earned and spent. The wife sees her husband as financial tree hence she would not contribute her primary quota to the running of the home. Here is our advice to couples, if you must make your marriage work .Be open to your partner concerning everything that comes into the purse of the family. When both of you are on a paying job or having other source of income, it’s advised that you should let your partner know how much comes into the purse and also engage in the planning of the family expenditure. It is necessary to eliminate all cracks of suspension on both ends. Some men have not done well in this regards, especially when they would make provision for some social expenditures which they would not like their partners to be aware of, thereby creating room for suspension of extra-marital affairs which is not healthy for the relationship.

Sharing responsibility makes every load lighter in the home; it’s very worrisome when somebody who is supposed to lend a helping hand decides to be on the contrary.

Begin today to work-out your differences, and create a healthy relationship with your partner.

SEXUAL PROBLEMS IN THE FEMALE (Part 03)

penix — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 11:28:44 +0000

4. Difficulties with Penetration.

The commonest difficulty with penetration is a condition called vaginimus. It is a phobic anxiety response to any attempt at vaginal penetration, in which the woman becomes anxious tension occurs in the vaginal muscles, and any attempt at penetration is painful.
Vaginismus may have followed by an unpleasant traumatic sexual event in the woman’s life but usually occurs because of ignorance or misinformation or from guilt developed from parental sexual attitudes.
Pain during intercourse may be due to other problems such as pelvic infections

5. Sexual Phobia
Vaginismus is an example of a sexual phobia, where one particular aspect of the sexual act becomes anxiety provoking. Some women show phobia avoidance of semen, and rush from the bed to have a vigorous shower whenever they come in contact with their partner’s semen.
Such phobic avoidance can totally ruin a sexual relationship.

5. Anomalous Sexual Behaviour

The prevalence of lesbianism in women is higher than in men (in Europe) and is probably tolerable due to the fact that lesbianism in women is more socially tolerable over there and it is also not illegal, the a etiology of lesbianism is obscure and there appears to be consistent adults hormonal reason for it.
Transsexualism also occurs in the women. A transsexual is convinced despite outward appearance that she is of the opposite sex. This fixed belief is usually held from childhood. The person feels comfortable if dressed in the clothes of the opposite sex and indeed may seek corrective surgery. The social pressure on the individual to conform to her outward sexual stereotype causes a great distress.

Treatment

A full assessment of sexual problem is necessary before treatment .Physical problems rarely cause of sexual difficulty.
IT CAN BE DIFFICULT TO DECIDE WHETHER SEXUAL DIFFICULTY IS CAUSING A MARITAL PROBLEM OR A MARITAL PROBLEM IS CAUSING A SEXUAL DIFFICULTY.
Obvious hostility or coldness between partners however is a poor sign in terms of a successful treatment of sexual difficulty.
Psychological methods of treatment based on behavioral principles are the most effective methods of treating sexual difficulties. Masters and Johnson’s techniques appear to be the bench mark by which other treatment options are measured. If you are worried about any of the discussed sexual disorders, see a Medical Doctor with training and interest in psycho-sexual problems.cheers

SEXUAL PROBLEMS IN THE FEMALE (Part 02)

penix — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 15:25:15 +0000

Disorder of interest (loss of libido).2. Difficulties in Arousal
Some women who lack sexual interest also can not be arouse. But some women who have interest singly do not get aroused. The lubrication and swelling phase of sexual response do not take place. Most women with arousal problems complain of a dry vagina which often results in introital pain during intercourse. The reaction of the woman to her problem and her educational and cultural orientation are of importance as these will determine whether the woman sees the disability as a problem or not.
3. Orgasmic Difficulty
Failure to obtain and orgasm may or may not be associated with the loss of sexual interest and loss of arousal. It may often be situational; a woman being unable to achieve it either on her own or her partner’s stimulation. It is difficult for a woman to be orgasmic during penetration by itself unless extra clitoral stimulation is applied. Some women find that they can be orgasmic with one partner but not with another. Many men are uncertain as to whether their partner has been orgasmic or not and some women to please their partners, simulate orgasm. Men may attempt coitus too early before the women is fully aroused, because of the assumption that the lubrication stage, which actually occurs in the very early stage of sexual arousal, means that the woman is completely ready for penetration.
Basically, most women do not achieve orgasm when they want to because they have not received sufficient stimulation or are anxious about it.
. Cheers.

SEXUAL PROBLEMS IN THE FEMALE (Part 01 )

penix — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 21:40:50 +0000

Disorder of interest (loss of libido).


 
 
Some women have no sexual interest, do not become sexually aroused and are non orgasmic. Some have no sexual interest, are not aroused when stimulated but can be orgasmic. Some women who show little or no sexual interest, if stimulated do show an arousal response and are orgasmic. Some women who show little or no sexual interest, if stimulated do become aroused but are not orgasmic. In all these cases the loss of sexual interest (loss of libido) is the main problem. Loss or lack of sexual interest may be due to many factors.

It is possible, but not proven, that hormonal factors may play a part.
Early traumatic sexual experience may predispose a woman to switch off sexual interest.
Parental teachings including feeling of guilt or childhood learning may also prevent interest.
A strongly religious up bring produces more than it’s fair share of difficulty in developing sexual interest in later life.

The attitude of a woman who has lost or who as never has sexual interest is important in assessment of the problem. Some women who have no interest in sex are quite content with it and do not see it as a problem. Some are desperately unhappy about it and go to great lengths to try and improve their sexual responsiveness and interest.
Loss of sexual interest in women is largely based on psychological, emotional, cultural, and social factors. Of all the sexual disorders, it is likely that the disorders of sexual interest are the commonest in women.