HOW I SAVED MY CHILDLESS MARRIAGE AND REMAIN HAPPILY MARRIED.

Part One!

By prince Vincent

You can be happy in your marriage even if you did not have children. The union of two persons coming together in marriage is because they love each other, which should be uppermost in the hearts of couples.

If marriage is not meant to be enjoyed, then what is the essence of it? Children are the crowing blessing of the union, so if after some years of expecting this crowning blessing and there is no sign of the arrival of children on the board. Then the couple must watch-out for a possible crack in the wall of their marriage. It might not be their own design or in their interest to quarrel of over delayed childbearing, that of the extended interest groups /families. If adequate care is not taken to checkmate issues, things might get-out of hands and hamper their relationship.

Let me ask you this question, if after some years of being in marriage and there is no child. What would be your attitude to the situation? Consider that in your society that won’t be acceptable. Think about every relative being concerned for your sake! How about those who had suddenly become medical advisers’ to the situation? All these people will be breathing down your neck for their supposed grandchildren whom they are expecting from your union etc. The problems of child-less couples differ, from one society/community to another depending on which part of the globe you are.

MY EXPERIENCE

I want to use my case to give you a pip into what obtains, or “what you can call a case-study” and the troubles some couples have been through because they did not have children on time after they got married or did not have at all.

Several marriages have crashed as a result of pressure on the marriage from relatives/extended family members.

Children are precious to family for different reasons. The survival and economic factors of the families is squarely placed on the children. Every family looks forward to their children succeeding them either in their endeavors or linage elongation. So the premium placed on childbearing by families in Africa is so much, and puts pressure on couples especially newly formed ones. Grandparents and relatives are on the lookout for the off-spring of the union.

Since I’m using my wife and I as a case study,

it will be good to start by giving you a beat of my background. I’m the only son of my parents and I’ve been married since May 29th 1992 without a child.

My parents had me at their later age, or (when they had almost lose hope of have a male child) and where also eagerly looking forward to seeing me produce offsprings for the continuity of the family. When I got married, my mother was relieved that it won’t be long before she will carry her grandchildren, also the anxiety of family extinction was taken care of; but their expectations did not come quickly as hoped. As the conception delayed, anxiety started mounting on, to find quicker solution.

There subtle quests for solutions. Every one was worried that no conception has taken place after one year of staying together as husband and wife. My mother summoned my wife to have a chat with her on the issue. On our own, we did not keep quite about the situation knowing fully well the type of environment/ society we have. We started visiting doctors of gynecology to know if there were things we needed to do rightly or doing wrongly. Our parents were not left out of the search for remedy. On their own they went as far as consulting traditional/natural medicine men/women whom by their believes are more knowledgeable and has an effective solution to the matter at hand. Though we tried not to offend them, seeing that all they were interested in, were in our well being, nevertheless, we made sure all the recommended practices did not constitute a sin to our faith. The more years roll-by and there was no sign of conception, the pressure came on us.

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This entry was posted on February 26, 2009 at February 26, 2009 and is filed under Saving Your Marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.