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Part two;
By Prince Vincent
DECISION TO SUCEED
I said to myself, (Vincent) you must succeed in your marriage, though your parents have failed. No matter what your parent’s marriage life-styles may be, you must distinguish yourself. My decision to be different from my background helped me to treat these ladies that came my-way or I dated thereafter, with fairness. I treated them like the queens they were in my life. I have never lifted a hand upon a lady, because I swore not to be part of such evil/ ill-treatment. Even right now, when ever I leant of any woman who has been battered by a man, my heart is pained. While I was un-married,
I made lists of matters that would not be part of our marriage, hence I met my wife. I want to testify to the glory of God, that since our marriage in May 29th 1992. We have never fought over any mater (battery), neither have I lifted my hand upon her as to show my masculinity. Yes we had to disagree in some matters but not to the extent of physical assault. I developed a way to express my dis-likes, without causing dis-affection or commotion.
As a man of the family, I remembered when we got married newly; it was not easy for us go to through the process of integration and fussing into one body judging from our different background.
Because I was determined to make my marriage work, so every impediment was resisted with love as a pivot. Take for instance a situation where I had to be the one to plead with my wife, whenever we had misunderstandings, even if she was the one at fault. I realized she was finding it difficult to say “I’m sorry”. But that did not bother me hence I was determined to save my marriage. It was possible that her attitude was as a result of her background. I reasoned that she could be coming from similar background like mine, and may not have taken time to appraise or counsel herself on the matter. Therefore she needs my patience and understanding to make amends.
Some situations wanted me to express a kind of regret in the union, but each time I remembered my resolve to make the difference between my marriage and my parent’s
marriage’ I was motivated.
My advise to couples is that they must be determined to say no” to matters fighting to destroy their marriages. No matter what the marriage counselors would advise, it is in their power to accept or not to accept. The best result comes from what they decided to do with the advise given, One of them must be ready to make the scarifies to succeed. The couple had power of their own to determine what fate holds for their marriage.
At the beginning of my marriage I had challenges of different factors, especially the ones based on some information concerning my background which my wife had pick-up from my kinsmen/family relations.
Some of them intentionally wanted to create bases for crisis in the new union. While some wanted to fore-warn her on what to expect from me, knowing that the off-springs of a leopard’ll not fail to have spot. If you put yourself in the shoe of my wife, tell me, what’ll you do with those various challenging/harmful infomations? Definitely it will impact on your marriage negatively.
Yes you may want to ignore these informatio9ns at first, but if any incident or behaviour from your wife reminds you of those imformations, then she would play-it-up as a weapon in your hands, which would be injurious to the marriage.
But I knew where the problems we’re coming from; hence I decided to handle the situation with tact. I discussed the matter with my wife open-heartedly on the subject matter, and put all her fears to rest.
I made her my friend to whom I may discuss all things, irrespective of how odd they may be. I gave her first-hand information concerning my family background, so that whatever information she may pick from “poke-nosier” will not be news to her ears any longer.
Your background may be like mine, it is possible you have suffered more consequences than me as result of your parent’s marital style; nevertheless, you can rebuild your marriage today and save yourselves the catastrophe of divorce. You can recreate that fantasy in your heart and make it to work in your marriage.
I’m presently living happily with my wife in marriage, we urge you do all in your powers to put away crisis and put on in its’ entirety, flourishing love. Please feel free to discuss any matter that will help save your marriage with me.
Thanks,
Prince Vincent