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Money Means Different Things to Different People

It has been said that “Wherever your treasure is, there your heart and thoughts will also be” Why is it easier to open our hearts to each other but close up our heart when it comes to working together on our finances? Because money problems are seldom about money. One the surface, the issue appears to be financial; however, that is rarely the case. There are deeper issues related to the meaning of money. Here are some examples of those who are dealing with issues other than what they appear to be-money matters.

Carson admitted breaking into a hot sweat the day he and his bride signed up for a joint credit

Card. His anxiety increased. Could he really trust her? Would she put their financial future in jeopardy by her choices?

Julie couldn’t wait to leave home. She wanted to get out where no one would tell her what to do.

She believed the less accountability, the greater the freedom. Now has marriage made her feel restricted?

Rick loved being the centre of attention. His approval rating system demanded that he go into major debt to buy things for his friends

.

Sue used money as a antidepressant, a mood changer, so did Joe, who equated money with status. He had to have the latest clothes, toys, and cars. A new purchase worked miracles for both of them. But the fix was temporary

.

Juan only feels secure when he has a substantial savings account so he constantly criticizes Patricia for her spending habits. She is wise in her expenditures. But he can’t see that because his fear blinds him.

Christy was struggling with a conflict between being dependent and nurtured by her husband, Ken, so she had been happy to let him handle all the finances. Yet, she was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with some of his choices. It made Ken uncomfortable to hear Christy question some of his decisions

Lee was happy to make the money decisions because he wanted to control his own destiny.

It made him feel important, and he didn’t want to repeat his parents’ pattern. After retirement his

Parents were totally dependent on him.

There is an incredible vulnerability that comes when we give another person access to our finances. The reality is they can now hurt us very badly by taking or misusing the information we have given

them

Prior to marriage, many of us had to answer only to ourselves. A major shift occurred as we began our married life. We are now accountable to each other. How do you react when someone limits you?

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We worship it, have love affairs with it, blame it, hate it, dream about it, live for it, pray for more of it, sacrifice our families for it, hand over control of our lives for it,

and wind up in bondage to it. It is our best friend and our worst enemy.

Money matters in a marriage relationship. Money may be an inanimate object, but we attach great emotional significance to it. Money only becomes our friend if we as a couple learn to partner around the decisions related to money. One of the prerequisites for partnering in the matter of money is an understanding of the meaning of money to each of us.

I, remembered earlier in our marriage when took a financial decision which my wife still remembers today. I was offered a car to purchase by a client, when I consulted my wife she was not in support of our buying a second car. But reason being that it is high class car which will make people around and our relations think that we have arrived financially. By so doing, it will attract un-necessary attention to us.

Personally I wanted the car hence my wife did not, for obvious reasons.

I play the card of the head of family and bread winner of the family; she gave in to my fantancies.

When the car started developing faults frequently, it became a financial burden on the family. I did not have the pleasure to share it with her, knowing fully well that she would talk back at me, “reminding me what her position was.” How I went ahead without considering that she objected.

Most times couples have contrary interest in what is needed to be purchased by family. Priority can be viewed from different angles. Some wives may see the purchases made by their spouse as extravagant; some men have hobbies and passions that are at variance with the family well-being